Acts 17:28 For in Him we live and move and exist (are)….
For a long time now, I have said or written – Who I am is more important than what I do. I still believe that with all my heart. But after spending time in God’s word and re-reading the book Your Sacred Yes by Susie Larson, I need to add more to that statement.
Before my husband, Tracy, died, I was solid in who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. Once Tracy was gone, however, and after about a year of intense grief, I began fretting over what others perceptions of me might be. Just typing that makes me shake my head. But seriously, it’s something many people do all through life – disastrous life event or not.
Expectations – Comparisons – Control – Approval
Call it whatever works for you. The enemy slips in, most often imperceptibly, with the lie that you are not enough, or you need to do this or that, or what will people think? Sometimes the thought or idea comes in like a cloud and other times it sort of blasts us in the face.
For me, I think that the enemy took something my husband said shortly after his cancer diagnosis, and twisted it. Everything around the diagnosis felt like a blast. But the father of lies kept his finger on it till some time after Tracy died. And then he began sliding it into my thoughts from time to time. The enemy doesn’t care what we are going through. He pushes the knife in and slowly turns it, making us uncomfortable and looking in the wrong places.
I felt like people in general expected me to go find a job, or do something philanthropic that was visible. And because I was focusing on other things, I allowed myself to worry what others thought. When I found someone in a similar situation, I bought into the comparison game. I wanted to be in control, but so much of my life was out of my control – well, let’s face it – most of it was out of my control. And approval………well, I certainly received encouragement along my journey, but I decided that, of course they would cheer me on! They were dear friends. Of course they would offer extra love and pats on the back. Isn’t that what would be expected? Ah – there’s those expectations again.
So today, after many years, I’m confronting myself with this sin. 2 Corinthians 10: 12 says – For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding. The idea is – comparison is fruitless and a total waste of time. In my head I know this. I know this verse. But – I didn’t fully accept that it applied to me.
Well – with God’s help, that stops today.
The deal is, I must remember who I am in Christ. Yes – who I am is more important than what I do. And who I am is a child of God. Who I am is blessed, chosen, adopted, loved, redeemed and forgiven (Ephesians 1: 3-7) Who I am is God’s warrior princess dressed in His armor. Who I am is precious and valued in God’s eyes. He will never leave me or forsake me. His plans for me are good and I can trust Him. And as the focal scripture says, For in Him we live and move and exist (are).
So – who I am is more important than what I do. And who I am is a child of God. Who I am is an anointed and empowered by His love child of God. I’m not perfect but I’m in progress. I’m unfinished. Philippians 1:6 promises God will complete me.
Have I totally got my stuff together? Nope. But I have clarity on what God is calling me to do right now. So from here on out, I will strive to ignore what others may think. My status before God is the most important. After all, at the end of the day – at the end of my life – that is what matters.
I sincerely hope you have already figured all this out. But if you are struggling with comparison, expectations or what others think, immerse yourself in God’s word and realize in a clear and fresh way who you are in Christ. Let’s beat the enemy at his sick game. Jesus never condemns, but the enemy always does.
So friend. . . . walk in the fear of the Lord, not the fear of people.
Peace & Blessings