Every Part of My Heart

Oh Lord of Heaven’s Armies, you make righteous judgments, and you examine the deepest thoughts and secrets…… Jeremiah 11: 20a

When you watch a magician, do you ever long to know the secret of the trick?  I do.  Intellectually I realize much of it is slight of hand, hidden elements or trap doors.  But the experiential, looking at it right now, in me is frustrated because I can’t figure it out.  I don’t have a clue.

The magician has mastered the covering of secrets.  He’s cloaked it all so well that no one can explain.

We do that too.  If we’re honest, there are deep thoughts and secrets buried in our hearts.  Perhaps some are awful things.  But I know in my own heart, some are often simply too personal to share. . . with anyone.

But God knows.  He sees. 

We’ve all heard that God knows “the thoughts and intentions of the heart”, taken from Hebrews 4: 12.  But did you realize that idea is expressed in other places in scripture?

Back in Genesis when Noah presented a sacrifice to God after coming out of the ark, we see that God looks on “the intent of man’s heart” in Genesis 8: 21.  In Samuel 16: 7, we see God telling Samuel that  “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”. And today’s verse says in the New Living Translation, “You examine the deepest thoughts and secrets“.

Everyone else around us would never know, but God knows.

That can be frightening when we harbor sin in our heart.  It’s more than a little uncomfortable thinking about God seeing those thoughts we work hard to cloak.  Scary…….guilty…….confession & forgiveness – the only way out.  And praise Him for that process !  He’s provided a way for that dark stuff to go away. . . forever.

But what about the other stuff?  The intense hurt.  The stark loneliness.  The fear.  The flood of tears held in secret.  The uncertainty.  The searching.  The doubt.

God sees all that too.  And instead of being frightened, we feel seen, understood, comforted and loved.

I’m glad God can see these things in my heart.  I’m glad I don’t have to work at hiding them from Him.  He will never judge me as others would.  He knows I’m dust.  He knows my weaknesses.  He knows it all and loves me just as I am.

Familiar phrase, but it seriously blows me away to think the God of the Universe would even want to look at my heart.  Do you get the magnitude of this deal?  Billions and billions and way beyond that – all those hearts stretching across past, present and future.  Every. Single. Heart. And He not only takes the time, but wants to look at my heart.

Yep.  It scares me a little to think He will find some secret sin I have forgotten or buried so deep even I can’t see it.  But I am so incredibly thankful to know He sees my struggles and wants to help me through them, loving me beyond what I can understand, but so desperately need.

So go ahead and be the magician of your heart with people around you.  But open your heart to the One that loves you no matter what.  No matter what deep thoughts and secrets He finds, He won’t beat you up.   He won’t kick you out of the family.  He will love you through every moment.  He will forgive.  He will strengthen, comfort and encourage.

He will love – because He is love itself.

That makes my heart feel better just knowing it’s true.  I hope it makes your heart feel better too.  

Lord – Only You know every part of my heart.  Thank you for loving me no matter what You find there.  Help me to be honest in confession.  And please give grace, comfort and love as we tackle the hard things together.  I would be so lost without You.  Thank You for never giving up on me.    Amen

 

Are you experiencing turbulence?

2 Corinthians 13:11

There is a card I have been using to hold my place in my bible as I’ve gone through 2 Corinthians.  A dear friend gave it to me one year after my husband was interred at Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis.  The card ministered to my spirit so profoundly that I wanted to have it close to read again and again.  This is what it says.

          Whatever comes your way today – circumstances around you or feelings within you. . . be certain of God’s still, small voice saying,  “You are Mine. . . I love you. . . and I’ll never let you go.”

Those are such precious words to me – to anyone grieving really.  But not just grieving – a person could be experiencing all sorts of turbulence.  These words soothe my heart.  They bring me peace.

Lately, I have seen  “love” and “peace” in scripture in several places.  It’s not a coincidence.  My heart has been experiencing a lot of turbulence lately. Sometimes life just seems hard — sometimes unfair – and sometimes we just hurt from discouragement or other reasons.  We need to know we are loved.  We need peace – but not just any peace.  We need God’s peace.

2 Corinthians 13:11 says “. . . the God of love and peace shall be with you.” (NASB)  In the last 4 verses of this chapter, Paul mentions God’s love and peace twice.  I needed to read my card AND I needed to see again in scripture that God does indeed love me as well as have the kind of peace He gives. God has my attention.

Does this come instantly like magic?  Do I suddenly feel perfectly fine?  NO.  What DOES happen is this.  As I turn my focus to my heavenly Father, read His word and offer my broken, troubled spirit, He comforts me.  He stills my heart.  He tells me again that He loves me.  He reminds me that while others may leave, He will not.  He’s with me every step, every hour, every moment.  I am not alone.  And I feel His peace wash over me.  I still have turbulence, but I choose peace.  Life isn’t perfect, but I choose peace.  My heart is still hurting, but God’s hand gently touches my heart.  he will stay till the tears subside and I finally rest in Him.  How awesome is that???

Just in case you’re reading this and are having a rough time too, reach out to God.  Realize you are not alone.  Talk to Him.  Lay it all out.  Cry, crumble, lay your heart on the altar.  God will pick you up.  He will never leave you.  And His incredible peace will wash over you.

Dear one – – – – I pray you will see and know that the God of love and peace will be with you – – – -always.