Tag: fear

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Who I Am Is More Important Than What I Do

Acts 17:28  For in Him we live and move and exist (are)….

 

For a long time now, I have said or written – Who I am is more important than what I do.  I still believe that with all my heart.  But after spending time in God’s word and re-reading the book Your Sacred Yes by Susie Larson, I need to add more to that statement.

Before my husband, Tracy, died, I was solid in who I was and what I was supposed to be doing.  Once Tracy was gone, however, and after about a year of intense grief, I began fretting over what others perceptions of me might be.  Just typing that makes me shake my head.  But seriously, it’s something many people do all through life – disastrous life event or not. 

Expectations – Comparisons – Control – Approval

Call it whatever works for you.  The enemy slips in, most often imperceptibly, with the lie that you are not enough, or you need to do this or that, or what will people think?  Sometimes the thought or idea comes in like a cloud and other times it sort of blasts us in the face. 

For me, I think that the enemy took something my husband said shortly after his cancer diagnosis, and twisted it.  Everything around the diagnosis felt like a blast.  But the father of lies kept his finger on it till some time after Tracy died.  And then he began sliding it into my thoughts from time to time.  The enemy doesn’t care what we are going through.  He pushes the knife in and slowly turns it, making us uncomfortable and looking in the wrong places.

I felt like people in general expected me to go find a job, or do something philanthropic that was visible.  And because I was focusing on other things, I allowed myself to worry what others thought.  When I found someone in a similar situation, I bought into the comparison game.  I wanted to be in control, but so much of my life was out of my control – well, let’s face it – most of it was out of my control. And approval………well, I certainly received encouragement along my journey, but I decided that, of course they would cheer me on!  They were dear friends.  Of course they would offer extra love and pats on the back.  Isn’t that what would be expected?  Ah – there’s those expectations again.

So today, after many years, I’m confronting myself with this sin.  2 Corinthians 10: 12 says – For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.   The idea is – comparison is fruitless and a total waste of time.  In my head I know this.  I know this verse.  But – I didn’t fully accept that it applied to me. 

Well – with God’s help, that stops today. 

The deal is, I must remember who I am in Christ.  Yes – who I am is more important than what I do.  And who I am is a child of God.  Who I am is blessed, chosen, adopted, loved, redeemed and forgiven (Ephesians 1: 3-7)  Who I am is God’s warrior princess dressed in His armor.  Who I am is precious and valued in God’s eyes.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  His plans for me are good and I can trust Him.  And as the focal scripture says, For in Him we live and move and exist (are).

So – who I am is more important than what I do. And who I am is a child of God.  Who I am is an anointed and empowered by His love child of God.  I’m not perfect but I’m in progress.  I’m unfinished. Philippians 1:6 promises God will complete me. 

Have I totally got my stuff together?  Nope.  But I have clarity on what God is calling me to do right now.  So from here on out, I will strive to ignore what others may think.  My status before God is the most important. After all, at the end of the day – at the end of my life – that is what matters. 

I sincerely hope you have already figured all this out.  But if you are struggling with comparison, expectations or what others think, immerse yourself in God’s word and realize in a clear and fresh way who you are in Christ.  Let’s beat the enemy at his sick game. Jesus never condemns, but the enemy always does. 

So friend. . . . walk in the fear of the Lord, not the fear of people. 

Peace & Blessings

 

 

 

 

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A Spark of Faith (reworked)

Ruth 1:7

With her two daughters-in-law she set out from the place where she had been living, and they took the road that would lead them back to Judah.

 

 

Naomi gets lots of criticism, but I get where she was and what she was feeling. Like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, Naomi had a negative attitude.  But as a widow, I feel that weight.  I understand it.

She’s lost her husband, which is devastating enough on its own.  But she has also lost her two boys.  In that culture, this means she has lost all financial support and care.  She’s faced with a nearly empty life and huge decisions to make completely alone.  I can’t imagine the fear she’s feeling for the future.  So you see, I truly understand why she is bitter.  And I understand why she feels like God has done this to her or at least allowed it. 

Right now, I’m facing big life decisions completely alone.  Everything feels overwhelming.  My life was never supposed to play out like this. I have an ache in my heart and fear of the future – fear I will make a mistake.

It’s hard to say exactly what made Naomi choose to go to Bethlehem.  But I think it’s logical.  She was going home.  She would know people there, family lived there and maybe someone would help her live out the rest of her days in peace.  She chose to go where the blessing of El Shaddai was present.

See, the thing is, even with all the negative in her life and clearly a poor attitude, I believe there was still a tiny spark of faith. She knew about the God of Abraham and she knew God could bless.  Though I’m sure she felt shaky, this choice was solid.  She chose to put her faith in God even though she was feeling bitter.

It’s that tiny spark of faith that gives me hope.  In Luke 17:6, Jesus talked about the power of faith the size of a mustard seed.  Some days my faith feels big, but others it feels mustard seed size.  So I cry out to God and say like the Dad in Mark 9:24 – I believe; help my unbelief.

No matter how daunting the situation or day, I need to exercise that spark of faith, clinging to God’s Word.

When I feel tossed up in the air, uncertain and when everything is overwhelming, God’s promises can calm my spirit.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  He promises He has a future and hope for me.  He says don’t try to figure it all out on my own, but to trust Him. 

My trust, that sometimes seem as small as that mustard seed, might be rocky.  But God knows me – He knows you.  He knows we won’t get it perfect.  How thankful I am that He looks at my heart, what little I bring to the table, and loves me anyway.  He will multiply my not enough.  He does amazing things when I let go and give Him my spark of faith.

Maybe you are in a hard place too.  You don’t have to be widowed to understand the heartache and angst of Naomi.  Life has a way of crushing us. Doesn’t it seem like difficulty shows up in a domino effect?  But even when it does, I bet you have a spark of faith.  Grab onto that and hold onto Jesus. Everything may be crashing, but we have an anchor for our soul.  It’s the one sure thing that will never fail us.

I believe God can take our tiny spark and grow it into great light.  He can do beyond anything you could imagine.  He can take your hard place and turn it into blessing.  He did that for Naomi.  Matter of fact, her story has a happy ending that gives me an ear to ear smile.

Hold onto that spark and watch what God does.